As the year will leave us, I have reflect a lot over these past 12 months. Despite that I now have a job, I still feel like that I am a piece of junk with no value at all. My life has no value. My ability to make friends is non existent. Apparently, I cannot make any friends if my life is dependent on it. I am so delusional, it is not funny. I thought that I had some sort of magical powers to change the world. That is completely wrong and completely stupid. I do not have any type of powers to do so. I need to be ultra more realistic with myself and the reality of the world. I have to stop making plans that will never come into fruition. No doubt, I will continue hating myself and punishing myself for not being a true human being. I will continue designing fantastic machines and stuff like that, but they will never become real in any amount of the future. With the way that I been feeling myself, I am not sure that I have much longer to live and get anything done that is really important. Which also means that I can forget about getting married since I do not know how to get any women attention and stuff like that. Also, this is my last journal, period. Any problems that I will have I better keep that to myself since talking about it will never solve it. I will not leave DA since you guys are great, but the only thing that you receive from hence forth will be my artwork. I believe that this is the best course of action to do, to keep my emotions bottle up so no one will never have to worry about it.